“Making Gondor Great Again!”

Númenórean News Agency 

Ruling Steward Press Conference: “Making Gondor Great Again”

Lótessë 20, 3017 Third Age

The Steward of the Kingdom of Gondor (@SOTKOG) held an hour-long press conference earlier today.  Denethor II dealt with four key topics. He first defended his foreign and immigration policies.  He then rejected collusion charges. Finally, Denethor denounced “Elven social media discrimination.”  


The ruling Steward dismissed critics of his Easterling policy.  He acknowledged the Easterlings’ military build-up.  But he went on to say “no matter how many battle wagons they build, Gondor’s technology will win out, if war comes. It matters not if they can make their wains run on time.” A journalist from Gondor Defence Weekly pointed out that many of the Kingdom’s weapons systems were centuries old.  Númenórean steel bows, in fact, are Second Age technology.  Denethor replied that his “huge” military increases would soon fix that. Furthermore, he continued, “we stand by our alliance with the people of Dorwinion, disputing Easterling territorial claims on the Sea of Rhûn.”  As for Gondor’s trade imbalance with the Easterlings, and their tariffs on Western products, the Steward vowed to respond in kind.  “Easterlings exploit cheap Balchoth labor to undercut our Gondorian workers. This must stop.”

Denethor then fielded questions about his opposition to undocumented workers from the southern border.  “Stop with the euphemisms,” he thundered.  “They’re illegal immigrants, many of whom are  bad people. All Haradrim are not saints.”  The Steward noted that, in fact, the rulers of Umbar were doing nothing to stop caravans of ‘refugees’ from Far Harad coming to Gondor’s borders. Also, the “Black Númenórean” Party, headquartered in Umbar, has been trying to “reclaim” southern Gondor for many years, claiming we “Northerners” stole their land.  (He also reminded the press corps that “Black Númenóreans” refers to their ancestors’ alliance with Sauron, not any racial slur.) This group is pushing a virtual invasion, claimed Denthor.  He also quoted Madril, advisor to his son Faramir, that “some thousands more come every day.”  “If that’s not a crisis on our southern border, then I don’t know what is.” Also, new migration laws are before the Gondorian Council.  “Chain migration, especially by invaders wearing chain mail, will no longer be tolerated,” said the Steward.

When asked whether his total ban on Orc immigration was racist, or at least speciesist, Denethor replied “Have you not seen those guys? They’re bad hombres. If we let them in, we’ll soon have the same problem as Rohan: Orcs roaming freely across our lands—unchecked, unchallenged, killing at will.  Plus, in case you hadn’t noticed, they’re not even human.”  My policies are “making Gondor great again,” said Denethor.  “You in the media just won’t admit it.”

Did he still expect allies to increase defense spending? Denethor’s elder son Boromir stepped forward to field that question.  “Yes!” Why? Because “by the blood of your people are their lands kept safe.” Boromir revealed that he would soon be leaving for a top secret NATO (Northern Arda Treaty Organization) meeting in Rivendell, assuming he could find the place.   “One does not simply walk into Imladris,” he reminded the press corps.  At that Council, called by Master Elrond, Boromir planned to press the Elves to “pull their own weight” and “stop free-loading on Gondor’s back.”  “It’s time the Eldar spent as much of their wealth on defense as on hair products and harps,” the Steward groused.  Key human ally Rohan, with its large commitment to heavy cavalry, remains immune to the same criticism.  And Denethor brushed off questions about King Théoden’s alleged infirmity, noting that “by all accounts his chief advisor, Gríma Wormtongue, is an able man and working with our ally Saruman the White—or, as I still like to call him, Gunpowder Man.”


Haradrim “undocumented workers,” along with oliphaunt beasts of burden, moving into Gondorian territory. 

Veteran Minas Tirith Palace pool reporter Fomentor, son of Fulminatrix, badgered the Steward to answer charges of collusion with Mordor.  He replied “I don’t care what MSNBC [Mouth of Sauron National Broadcasting Company] claims. That never happened.  Yes, I am well apprised of the Enemy’s forces and their movements. But counsels may be found that are neither the webs of wizards nor the haste of fools. I have in this matter more lore and wisdom than you deem.” When pressed to explain the source of this amazing intelligence, the Steward replied “Do you think the eyes of the White Tower are blind? I have seen more than you know. I didn’t need Sauron’s help to become Steward. And my policies have been tougher on him than any other leader’s in Middle-earth. “  Denethor also pointed out that the Mithrandir Report, which the White Council had commissioned, had cleared him of any wrong-doing—although he was still unhappy with his younger son, Faramir, for his attachment to Gandalf the Grey making him, in effect, a “wizard’s pupil.”

In the last few minutes of his press conference, the Steward denounced what he called “Elven discrimination” against Men using the palantíri (the crystal balls given to Númenor by the Elves in the Second Age)  Although denying that he had access to a functioning one, Denethor noted he suspected that both Sauron and Saruman, as well as the Elves of the North, had been using such in recent years.  And in his long study in the library of Minas Tirith, he had found records indicating these Elvish devices were incredibly biased against Men in terms of usage and types of information sent and received on them.  In particular, traditionalists of both Gondor and the lost northern kingdom of Arnor had been singled out for exclusion, unable to post messages of which the Elvish censors disapproved.  Denethor said he would thus propose a magical device conference to examine this question.  Men and Elves would be invited; but also Dwarves, whose “never trust an Elf” attitude might prove useful.

Just as he was about to exit, Denethor fielded one last question. This was about rumors of the finding of Sauron’s One Ring and its being hidden in a northern region known as “the Shire.”  The Steward scoffed at this idea. Should the Ruling Ring ever resurface, sending it for safekeeping into the hands of a “witless halfling” would be folly.  Rather, it should  be “kept hidden dark and deep and not used unless at the uttermost of need.”  But this was all conjecture, Denethor stated—in fact, a pipe dream.  “Leave that sort of delusion to Gandalf, whose love of the halfings’ leaf has clearly slowed his mind.”  And with that, the Steward stalked out.

(Discussion About) God Is In The Radio

I’ve lost count of how many radio interviews I’ve done over the last decade or so.  Usually I am asked to opine on some aspect of Islamic history relating to modern terrorism, but thanks to my 2005 article “Beheading in the Name of Islam,” I’ve (rather unfortunately) been pegged as an expert on that specific dreadful topic.  Dr. Bill Bennett had me on his “Morning in America” show to discuss it, before the show went away (here’s the link via Hugh Hewitt and “Townhall”–I start at 28″ in).  “BBC 3 Counties” radio also interviewed me, back in 2015, regarding Islamic decapitation. The late Alan Colmes also had me on, mainly to argue about it–but FNC finally removed the link.


No, I don’t get this dressed up for radio interviews.  Or do I?

The two stations that have brought me on the most times are KNUS AM 710, Denver and KFUO AM 850, St. Louis.  Regarding the former, a number of hosts have interviewed me for their shows–but by the far my most appearances have been on “The Peter Boyles Show,” which is an early morning one out there.  Perhaps some time this summer I will get around to providing links to the dozens (at least!) of times Peter let me opine.  But today I’d like to do so for the 22 times I was interviewed on KFUO, which is the flagship station for my own denomination: the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod:

March 3, 2012: Studio A, hour two: “Burning Qur’ans

June 16, 2012: Studio A, “Crusade v. Jihad

June 30, 2012: Studio A: “Is Islam Winning?”

September 14, 2012: The Bible Study, hour two: “General Info about Islam”

September 15, 2012: Studio A, hour two: “Attacks on US Embassies in Libya, Egypt

October 20, 2012: Studio A, hour one: “The Libyan Consulate Attack

November 19, 2012: The Bible Study, hour two: “General Info about Islam

December 1, 2012: Studio A, hour one: “The Morsi Power Grab in Egypt

August 18, 2013: Studio A: “Mahdism, Eschatology and Pew Data

August 17, 2013: Studio A: “Anti-Christian Violence in Egypt

February 2, 2013: Studio A, hour one: “John Brennan, the CIA and Islam

April 20, 2013: Studio A, hour two: “The Boston Bombing

May 25, 2013: Studio A, hour two: “The Murder of a British Soldier by Islamic ‘Radicals‘”

September 14, 2013: “The Syrian Civil War and Islamic Eschatology

October 19, 2013: Studio A, hour two: “The Battle of Vienna and the Reformation

October 20, 2014: Faith’n’Family: “The Appeal of Islam

April 30, 2016: World Lutheran News Digest [WLND]: “The Crusades

October 26, 2016: WLND: “Translating Arabic to English” [on Islamic theological terms]

August 23, 2017: WLND: “Eclipses and Islam

May 30, 2018: WLND: “US Embassy [in Israel] in Jerusalem

April 3, 2019: WLND: “Media Silence on Christians Deaths

May 1, 2019: WLND: “Attacks on Places of Worship

By the way: “God is in the Radio” is a hard-rock/metal song by Queens of the Stone Age.












The One-Eyed Man Is (Still) King: President Trump’s Policies Toward the Islamic World

On Saturday, April 27, I spoke before a metro Atlanta conservative group, the Madison Forum.  My topic was how President Trump is dealing with the Islamic world in four areas: Muslim immigration to the US; allies in the Middle East; ISIS in particular; and counter-terrorism in general.  The title of my discussion is a riff on a long blogpost I did last fall on the administration’s National Strategy for Counterterrorism.

Here’s the link to the 38-minute talk (my Power Point screens are embedded in the video).

And here’s the link to the 25-minute Q & A session which followed.

Pay no attention to the large painting of a rooster on my left.


I’ve also been on radio even more than usual lately, commenting on the fire at Notre Dame, the jihad on Christians in Sri Lanka, and the mass beheadings in Saudi Arabia.  Peter Boyles, who has an early morning radio show in Denver (710 AM KNUS), has had me on four times in just the last two weeks:

Off With Their Heads,” April 30

Sri Lanka and ‘Easter Worshippers‘,” April 23

Easter Attacks,” April 22

Notre Dame Burns,” April 16.