New Plan to Counter Violent Extremism in Middle-earth to be Implemented

“Isengard Times,”  Thursday, 10 July 3018 Third Age

The office of Saruman the White, Chief Strategist of the Western powers, has announced that a new policy formulated by the White Wizard will soon be incorporated into the defense and foreign policies of Rivendell, Lorien and the major power, Gondor.  This will constitute a substantial shift from previous administrations, and marks the triumph of the White Wizard’s approach over that of his chief rival, the now discredited Gandalf the Grey.

In explaining this major policy shift, Saruman’s spokesman Grima Wormtongue issued the following edited transcript of his boss’ discussion with Gandalf:

“A new Power is rising. Against it the old allies and policies will not avail us at all…..We may join with that Power. It would be wise, Gandalf. There is hope that way. Its victory is at hand; and there will be rich reward for those that aided it. As the Power grows, its proved friends will also grow; and the Wise…may with patience come at last to direct its courses, to control it. We can bide our time, we can keep our thoughts in our hearts, deploring maybe evils done by the way, but approving the high and ultimate purpose….” (Wormtongue denied an allegation raised by Minas Tirith News Channel that these quotations were plagiarized from an earlier work called The Lord of the Rings, p. 259 specifically.)

Wormtongue added, in response to a follow-up question, that referring to this “new Power” as “Sauron,” the “Dark Lord,” or the “Great Eye” wasn’t helpful and in fact simply further inflamed the geopolitical situation, emboldening Orc depredations and terrorism by insulting their holy leader.

Grima also admitted that a counter-proposal had been sent from Denethor, Lord and Steward of Gondor, to Saruman via palantir that called for more study of Mordor’s ideology. But the Chief of the Istari had countered that his own millennium of study was sufficient to demonstrate the compatibility of that Eastern belief system with Western traditions and that despite the failure of earlier Third Age CVE programs, this one would work.

The aforementioned Gandalf the Grey could not be reached for comment, as he was enjoying some down time in Orthanc and Saruman’s press secretary could not say when he would be available again.

To be continued….